So that I don’t start the new year off ranting like a madwoman and throwing cats at passing teenagers I’m going to post this on New Years Eve.
I watch a lot of food shows, read a lot of food blogs and generally eat up (hahahhaha!) everything to do with food because it delights me so much. I also see some things irk me from time to time. So much so that I hope we don’t see them in the coming year or just used less. Yes, I think that’s what I mean when I say disappear. Because the following might have things you like and I would never want to upset you, my darlings!
Food in Jars: Sure it’s quaint and cute and who doesn’t like a mini serving for themselves. But does everything have to come in jars now? My particular beef is drinking out of mason jars. I find it so disgusting. I automatically think “pickle juice” when I see someone drinking anything out of a mason jar. Eating and drinking out of jars puts us dangerously close to eating and drinking out of rusty tin cans like hobos. Is that what you want, people? Well stop it. Just stop it!
Bacon Everything: I know, I know. But bacon makes everything better! That’s because it makes it taste like bacon. Trust me, I am the last person that wants bacon to go away but it’s been way too overexposed. For our tastebuds and hearts sake, I think we should put the bacon down and make it a once in a while thing instead of a BACON EVERYTHING thing.
Foodgasms: I cringe when people say they had a foodgasm. Dude, that’s private. You don’t tell people about your regular orgasms so we don’t need to hear or see those. When you’re experiencing the utter joy of something delicious that makes you bang your fists on the table, writhe in your seat, roll your eyes back into your head and breath heavy – just say “this food is amazing and I’m enjoying it a lot”. People will know by your profuse sweating and blushing that you’re having a “moment”. Just don’t draw it out too long else they thing you’re having a medical emergency.
Foodporn: Lately this term has gotten out of hand. Sure that photo of a pizza looks delicious oozing cheese everywhere and I want to eat it, but that’s about it. During a luncheon I took a photo of what I was eating and someone said, “that’s for her foodporn site“. Because it was obvious that some people around the table had heard that term for the first time and were looking at me like I was a sexual deviant, I had to follow up with “I just like to take photos of delicious things we eat!”. And that’s the moment that Foodporn when onto the list of things I don’t like.
Panko bread crumbs: If you haven’t used, thought of or eaten something with panko breading then you’ve clearly not eaten enough fried food for my liking. Are we even friends?
Gourmet burgers: There’s a reason Shake Shack is the burger mecca on the eastern seaboard. It has amazing burgers that are simple and tasty. You don’t need 4 different grinds of meat and a billion toppings on a weird potato roll for a great burger. Just give me a good seared patty, tomato, lettuce and onion on a soft bun and I’ll be happy. Oh and don’t forget the fries!
Cake Pops/Cupcakes: This is a losing battle, I know. But cupcakes and cake pops are taking over the confectionery world and it’s time for pie, squares, cake slices, candies, fudge, ice cream, puddings etc etc to have their time in the spotlight. That being said, I get delighted when cupcakes are placed in front of me and while I have never eaten a cake pop, I love looking at Bakerella’s creations. So they can stay, as long as they are cute.
Food trend that can stay: fried eggs on top of things. Because that runny yolk is like a dreamy river that floats your food to a rainbow island full of unicorn wishes.
Happy New Year everyone! Have a wonderful 2012!